As Rainbow Baby wriggles around inside me
I stare at the photos of Tilda that surround me
And I am feeling the stabbing pain of our loss
I am growing a Rainbow
She will be our fourth child
But she will make the number of children in our house
Only three
Four minus one
Four but one in the sky
It is desperately unfair
I should be looking forward to being a busy mummy of four children
Four mouths to feed
Four bodies to wash and dress
Four characters to see change and grow
Four friends learning about the world
8 arms to cuddle
8 legs to run around after
Everything should be so different
Everything would be so different
If only Tilda were here
And I know that really I am a mummy to four
But being in the sky
Being in our hearts
Is really not the same
And on days like today
Thinking that Tilda is everywhere
In all we do and all we say
Is not a comfort to me
It is painful
Hurtful
Even feels spiteful
Because all I want right now
Is for Tilda to toddle up to me
Poke my bump
And inquisitively ask ‘Baby?’
I am growing a Rainbow
She will be our fourth child
But she will make the number of children in our house
Only three
Four minus one
Four but one in the sky
It is desperately unfair
Lots of love x
It is so so unfair 🙁 Sending lots of love xxxx
HugS xx
It is bloody unfair. Sending hugs x
Completely, totally and utterly unfair. Sending lots of hugs and love. X
it is very very unfair, life stinks but I am glad you are sharing that hurt and grief and letting us all know how you feel, as you have every right to feel like crap and shit and life is desperately unfair. How I wish I could change it for you…but I am truly truly sorry I can’t.
All I can do is send a huuugggeee (hug) and even that stinks, and wont make you feel better.
*Elaine passes a tissue and offers a virtual shoulder to cry on*
xxxo
It really is so unfair 🙁 x