To celebrate the launch of The Lullaby Trust I have written a lullaby for Matilda Mae.
Baby Tilda died on Saturday 2nd February 2013.
She was 9 months old.
Cause of Death?
SIDS.
Sudden Infant Death.
We love you Baby Tilda x
Sleep tight little one x
Hush Baby Tilda
Hush Baby Tilda
Don’t you cry
We still love you
In the sky
We blow bubbles
Every day
We think of you
In all our play
Hush Baby Tilda
Don’t be sad
I am your Mummy
And I am glad
Proud of you
Of all you are
Proud of my beautiful
Shining star
I miss you
More than words can say
I love you more
Each passing day
I see you
Everywhere I go
I’ll always miss you
This I know
Until the day
We meet again
I’ll miss you baby
Until then
That day I’ll
Hold you oh so tight
Kiss you and cuddle you
Through the night
Things will be
As they should be
Baby Tilda
With her mummy
I’m so angry
You are gone
And I am writing
This awful song
I’m trying
To write a lullaby
To say goodnight
But not goodbye
Baby Tilda
Wait for me
I’ll find you soon
Just you wait and see
And this time
I won’t let you go
We will be together
Forever I know
Baby Tilda
Don’t you cry
This is goodnight
It is not goodbye
This is so beautiful Jennie, you are such a lovely mummy. I know I told you this on twitter the other night, but I’m going to say it again here. As I listened to your lullaby, and looked at the photos of baby Tilda through my tears, I was aware of the TV in the background playing a song from the evening worship at Spring Harvest, but I wasn’t listening to the words. Then, as your lullaby finished, the words being sung on the TV at that moment came to my attention. “He has conquered the grave. Jesus conquered the grave.” As a general rule, I try not to be too religious on twitter and in the blogging world, because I think it is important to respect everyone’s beliefs and not assume that they share mine. However, in this case I just couldn’t hold back. It seemed to me to be one of those rare moments when God was saying to me, look here, I am actually speaking to you, would you please pay attention. I just felt such certainty that that reassurance was meant for you in that moment, and I had to pass it on. One day things will be as they should be and baby Tilda will be with her mummy again. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21.4) I know it must seem like cold comfort when what you want is to have baby Tilda in your arms right now and things back to the way they should be, but I hope it helps a little. I am thinking of you every day Jennie and praying for you all the time xxxx
Beautiful Jennie. I hope and believe that baby Tilda will hear your words xxx
So beautiful. Just lovely.
So beautiful, and so honest – the part where your gentle lullaby goes into how angry you are gave me chills. It is definitely goodnight and not goodbye. You will meet her again.
I found out about your terrible loss when i found Helen’s blog, and it has haunted me ever since. I am just in awe that you are keeping going, and it must be so hard to be strong for your other two little ones. You have my respect and all my sympathies.
This is beautiful Jennie – goodnight but not goodbye x
Simply beautiful. I can’t stop crying.
such beautiful words for your beautiful little girl. Lots of love xxx
You know I listened to it the other day and I cried buckets. I’m home alone still not feeling 100% so I can’t listen to it again just yet..but know this, Jennie, I’m always thinking of you. Always. And this is such a beautiful lullaby for Tilda xx
This is heartbreakingly beautiful Jennie. I don’t know what else to say. You are an amazing lady xx
Beautiful xxxx
I’m speechless and have tears streaming! Such a beautiful song and you are right! It is not goodbye! You will be with your baby girl again Jennie, I’m sure of it xxx
Just beautiful, and heartbreaking. I hate goodbyes too. You will meet again and Baby Tilda is always with you, watching you, loving you xxx
I don’t have any clever words that will help. I just think you have so much strength (even when you don’t feel that way) in such a deeply painful situation. The way you love your other family members so proactively and also keep the love for Matilda Mae so vibrant. Amazing. It is as your lullaby says awful what has happened to you. Stay strong and part of that is helping others and also being open to support yourself. Sending all my best thoughts.
Pingback: My favourite lullaby
Oh Jennie – my heart breaks for you once more. Tilda is always with you, in your heart and forever she will be xxx
This breaks my heart, I have no idea how you managed to sing this without breaking down. Such heartfelt words. She’s shining brightly over you all, waiting for you to hold her tight again xx
Sad, angry, deeply moved. Not fair. Thinking of you all the time, all the time.
I really really hope The Lullaby Trust is going to help you through this, just like I hope we will.
I cant hardy type for my tears Jennie.
So beautifully raw. I can sense your emotions even though it is so simply written. That is an absolute skill.
My favourite part;
Baby Tilda
Wait for me
I’ll find you soon
Just you wait and see
And this time
I won’t let you go
We will be together
Forever I know
It absolutely breaks my heart. But you will find her, I am sure of that. You will be together again.
Keep doing what you are doing Jennie, you are so strong and I am so proud of you, despite never meeting you! xxxxx
As I read this and cry, my heart breaks for you all over again – hold on to the fact that this is goodnight and not goodbye and you will be with Tilda again – and that she is always with you in your heart xx
This song has been running through my head since I heard it the other day. I cannot tell you how moving it is; how beautiful and how very very sad. I am so so sorry. I hope you know that.
xxxxxxx